I wish I could say I know where you have run off to. If you're chasing your desire among a field of daises or hiding between the thick shrubberies of a forest scared of reality. I wish I can say I did all I could to keep you within me, but somewhere in this journey of becoming the woman that stands before this world, I have lost you. It would be easy for me to claim that you have been taken away from me. Your hand ripped from mine, stolen by the world, punished for your imagination. society yelling blasphemy. but that simply isn't the case. I let you go. I left you behind, among a world that only the strong of hearts can stay. I left you, where I believed you belonged. But who am I without you?
I suppose that's what growing up is all about, the evolution of a human being, where the complexity of knowing takes over simple truths, where summer days spent daydreaming turn into unproductive moments, seen as strikes against the validity of time being used wisely. Wisdom, sought after like riches, where nothing is spared in the desperate desire to drink from its fountain. But who is to say what you know wasn't wise? They say wisdom comes with age, then I should be wiser ten folds, yet I knowing nothing.
There is a void growing in me that isn't with you. A locked door that only you have a key to and beyond this door is where all answers lie and God only knows all I ever wanted are the answers. So Little Girl, tell me what you know that I have yet to learn because surely, I have fallen.
Is it that I sold my soul for a vision that's simply unattainable? Did I settle for what's beneath me, giving the broken pieces of me to those unworthy? Do I make you proud? Am I the product of what you have envisioned me to be? Have I let the dreams stay as frames of you imagination and withheld them from becoming blueprints of the life that I was meant to lead?
Little Girl. where have you run off to? I only pray isn' the places I have been. Your innocent eyes will betray you. You will see, hear , smell, touch your childhood away, morphing from reality into distant memories. I hope you have yet to meet the people I have met. They will only whisper the songs of lewdness in your ear, displacing the sweet lullabies of birds in your head. I hope you have yet to let the people of my past embrace you. They will only taint the pureness of you skin with forgotten desire and rude lust. I can only pray that you have not been cursed to encounter my demons. They will swallow you whole and leave you hallow, robbing you of everything sound in your world.
Little Girl, I'm sorry. I let the harmony of laughter to only float upon the hard pavements of the playground. I ignorantly allowed daydreams to wander aimlessly with nowhere to root itself and blossom. I've succumb to being a dreadful replication of human being a dreadful replication of a human being where the sole rhythm to dance to is the monotonous beat of societal life. The ability to feel has seeped down my body like blood, only to drip onto the cold floors of this world.
Little Girl, I can only patiently wait for you arrival back home to me and I plead that upon our encounter face to face that you are not merely a reflection of me.
"Little Girl, Where Have You Run Off To?"
No comments:
Post a Comment