Lately when I look around, all I've been seeing is couples everywhere. And this made me think. How come I can't find the right guy for me. It already has been 9 months since my recent ex-boyfriend broke up with me. I can't believe it; I have been single for that long. Usually I was able to get a new boyfriend less than maybe 3 months or so. But I guess not this time. I really don't know what to do with love anymore. Everytime I start liking someone, there is always something interfering for me to be with that individual.
I just can't really find the Mr. Right. I'm always getting heart broken and disappointed, and I'm fed up with it. I'm always been left crying, with no one to lean on. Or me liking some guy, but no I'm only consider a good friend. But you know what; I'm tired of waiting on the sideline. 'Cause that is all I been doing. I want to find the guy that likes me for who I am, but 'cause I have pretty big boobs for a filipina; but likes me for who I am. I'm also tired of all those guys that just leaves a girl hanging after finding out that she likes him. Girls have the right to be treated with respect, and not like garbage.
Well yeah, I really do miss being taken. Yes I know that when you are in a relationship you wouldn't have all the freedom in the world. like as when you are single; but I am willing to sacrifice that for someone. And I will be here waiting for the right guy to come along to appreciate me, and understand that I ain't perfect nor either as he. But fight together to the bitter end.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Overloved
I need to find somebody who can't sleep at night
Without holding me without holding me tight
I want someone who sees me all the time in their dreams
And then wakes up thinking just of me...
I want someone who can't wait to kiss me again
Even though it's been a minute since they last did
Want someone who loves love songs
And dedicates them to me
And two loving arms never out of reach...
Want someone to talk to me with talk so sweet
Want someone who's there to share their world with me
I've been too lonely for too many nights
This time I need someone here in my life
This time I want someone holding me tight
Been under kissed, under touched
Overloved Over needed
Over wanted Over missed when I'm away
Overloved Over dreamed of
Over cared about Over everything
I'd give anything to be overloved
I just wanna be Overloved
By someone who's over in love with me
Over kissed over touched over missed
Overloved
Without holding me without holding me tight
I want someone who sees me all the time in their dreams
And then wakes up thinking just of me...
I want someone who can't wait to kiss me again
Even though it's been a minute since they last did
Want someone who loves love songs
And dedicates them to me
And two loving arms never out of reach...
Want someone to talk to me with talk so sweet
Want someone who's there to share their world with me
I've been too lonely for too many nights
This time I need someone here in my life
This time I want someone holding me tight
Been under kissed, under touched
Overloved Over needed
Over wanted Over missed when I'm away
Overloved Over dreamed of
Over cared about Over everything
I'd give anything to be overloved
I just wanna be Overloved
By someone who's over in love with me
Over kissed over touched over missed
Overloved
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Not Anymore
Someone told me that "YOU DESERVE BETTER"
I say no fool I DESERVE THE FUCKING BEST!
"I've dried my eyes and I realized I deserve somebody that'll treat me right, Because I know my worth so you can keep that drama, I don't want it anymore; No more settling for less I'm looking for that kind of man that's gonna give his best 'cause I'm giving my best; A man that wants to cherish this and knows exactly how to move me; Not some little silly boy who wants my goodies 'cause he took me to the movies"
I say no fool I DESERVE THE FUCKING BEST!
"I've dried my eyes and I realized I deserve somebody that'll treat me right, Because I know my worth so you can keep that drama, I don't want it anymore; No more settling for less I'm looking for that kind of man that's gonna give his best 'cause I'm giving my best; A man that wants to cherish this and knows exactly how to move me; Not some little silly boy who wants my goodies 'cause he took me to the movies"
Sunday, June 7, 2009
So Dead Tired
Wow! For the pass two days it has been so tiring. Going Downtown Toronto Friday night was kinda of a disappointment. I was suppose to watch a movie, but no Melchor and Kevin was to lazy to walk all the way to Paramount where the movie that I wanted to see was showing; we didn't even watch "UP". So we decided to go all the way to Scarborough, but the funny thing I didn't even end up chilling with them there, I just went went to met up with my friend Ryan at Kennedy Station. Me and Ryan was going to watch Hangover the movie, but that didn't happen as well because I was so hungry and we need to eat something before all the stores clothes and this was like at twelve at night. You know what sucks, that buses don't run at day and night. So that means that I was stranded at Scarborough yikes. As well that means I have to see Ryan's ugly face the next morning. I didn't even get any sleep that night and I needed to since I had work the next morning, 'cause someone has to move so much while he sleeps, but it's okay I guess.
Oh em gee, that morning was the most tiredest morning that I had in my whole life; that I know of. Missioning all the way back to Brampton at six o'clock in the morning. On the way back to Brampton I had to take the GO bus because I wouldn't be able to make it to work if I took the bus from Islington station, and I know that for a fact. When I got to the GO Bus station it was another upsetting moment. You want to know why? I had to fucking miss my bus by three minutes, so that means that I had to wait for the bus and the next bus was in fifty minutes. Luckily Ryan was so nice enough to wait with me for the bus. After that I had to spend more money on a taxi, it was such a smelly situation. The driver had such bad Body oder, it was so disturbing. Then finally I arrived home at nine fifteen. But, that wasn't the end of my tiring day. I had to go to work, starting at ten o'clock. But I need the money. Ordinary day at work and I was leaving early that day; since I suppose to have a dance performance, but that didn't happen because when I got hope from work I fell dead tired on my bed. My sisters knew I was sleeping and didn't bother wake me up when they were leaving the for performance, so I guess I didn't perform. It's okay anyways, I didn't know the dance. But yeah, that was my Friday and Saturday.
Oh em gee, that morning was the most tiredest morning that I had in my whole life; that I know of. Missioning all the way back to Brampton at six o'clock in the morning. On the way back to Brampton I had to take the GO bus because I wouldn't be able to make it to work if I took the bus from Islington station, and I know that for a fact. When I got to the GO Bus station it was another upsetting moment. You want to know why? I had to fucking miss my bus by three minutes, so that means that I had to wait for the bus and the next bus was in fifty minutes. Luckily Ryan was so nice enough to wait with me for the bus. After that I had to spend more money on a taxi, it was such a smelly situation. The driver had such bad Body oder, it was so disturbing. Then finally I arrived home at nine fifteen. But, that wasn't the end of my tiring day. I had to go to work, starting at ten o'clock. But I need the money. Ordinary day at work and I was leaving early that day; since I suppose to have a dance performance, but that didn't happen because when I got hope from work I fell dead tired on my bed. My sisters knew I was sleeping and didn't bother wake me up when they were leaving the for performance, so I guess I didn't perform. It's okay anyways, I didn't know the dance. But yeah, that was my Friday and Saturday.
Friday, June 5, 2009
to all the ladies
This is for those girls, who fell back in love with their ex, only to get hurt all over again. Here's to all those girls who used to be his number one. The ones who waited all night for him to call, only to check the caller ID the next morning and be disappointed. The ones who made it through that bitter break up, dried your own tears, and moved on with your life, only to have him walk back in it months later like nothing ever happened.
Those of you who cried on the first day you talked again because you knew exactly where this phone call was going. The ones who listened to him say, I only want to be your friend, one day, and the next, listened to him say how much he loves and misses you. We deserve something, and this is our tribute. Here's to the ones that took him back, hoping that maybe this time, he was different, hoping that maybe people really do change.
We listened to our friends tell us that we were stupid for even thinking about giving him another chance, caught crap from our parents, and even snuck around to see him for while. We went through the great stage with no fights all over again. We started this out thinking it would be just friends, and ended up falling in love with him again. We wanted nothing more in the world than to hear him tell us he loved us too, that even though things were bad in the past, they would be different this time.
And when we finally heard it, it was like we were dreaming. This is for us. Here's to the ones who believed what he said, sat around all over again waiting for a phone call that might come in a few hours, or a few days. Here's for the tears cried and dried all over again. We wanted so desperately to believe that he was really busy, he couldn't possibly call us at that moment, or even that he fell asleep early. We trained ourselves to believe the lies because we wanted to believe we had found the one for us.
We have learned to SETTLE for someone who didn't treat us the way we should be treated. Here's for the ones who did their hair and make up and put on their prettiest earrings, only to hear him say that he couldn't see us today. The ones who never believed it when people told us there might be someone else. We just couldn't believe that he could do this to us again. This is for those great girls, who loved him more than words can say, and took him back no matter what happened last time because they couldn't bear to look back on their lives one day and wonder "what if".
This is for the girls that stayed up all night long listening to him whine about an ex girlfriend who cheated on him, and cried during the entire conversation. The ones who hoped he would realize that he deserved better, that he deserved us. When he said that he loved you, but he was in love with her, he didn't mean it. This is for the ones that held on to something that was never there to begin with. This is for us girls, who somehow managed to get him to forget about her, and get him to tell us that he was in love with us again, only to have him tell us three weeks later that "things were going too fast, he needs time."
Here's to the girls who couldn't cry to their friends because of how stupid they felt. The ones who held it all in when things came crumbling to pieces again. This is for the ones who couldn't bear to even tell their mom what was going on, for fear of an "I told you so." The ones that could just TELL that they had made a mistake ever allowing him into their hearts, and their dreams again. We knew that we deserved better the entire time that we deserved a guy who would call when he said he was going to, one that would come see us whenever he got the chance, one that would really care about us.
We just wanted the one that we loved like that. Here's for the ones that FINALLY realized that he NEVER gave a crap about them. Here's for the time that he broke your heart again.This is for those days spent trying to hold back the tears, and the tears that turned into anger, then disappointment. Here are for us girls who finally realized that we deserve better. This is for those confusing days, when you miss him, and want nothing more than to hear his voice, or feel his arms around your waist. Stay strong, and remember that relationships are like broken glass, sometimes it's better to leave it alone rather than try to put the pieces back together and get hurt. Remember the times you cried, and how long it took you to even be able to look at another guy like that. When "your song" comes on the radio, turn the station. When the day comes that he realizes what a mistake he made and tries calling, turn your phone off. When he tries coming to your house, don't answer the door.
Think of the broken promises, and the lies, the manipulation and the tears, the wasted moments and staying up all night wondering where the crap he was. Think of how your heart used to jump when your phone would vibrate in the middle of the night, and how it fell to your stomach when you saw it wasn't him, and realized that once again, he hadn't called when he said he was going to. One day, you'll find a guy who's worth all the tears, but he won't make you cry. You may think that you'll never care about someone like you did that guy that you always ran back to, but you will. It's going to hurt like crap, and it's going to need time to heal, but the point is, it will heal.
Those of you who cried on the first day you talked again because you knew exactly where this phone call was going. The ones who listened to him say, I only want to be your friend, one day, and the next, listened to him say how much he loves and misses you. We deserve something, and this is our tribute. Here's to the ones that took him back, hoping that maybe this time, he was different, hoping that maybe people really do change.
We listened to our friends tell us that we were stupid for even thinking about giving him another chance, caught crap from our parents, and even snuck around to see him for while. We went through the great stage with no fights all over again. We started this out thinking it would be just friends, and ended up falling in love with him again. We wanted nothing more in the world than to hear him tell us he loved us too, that even though things were bad in the past, they would be different this time.
And when we finally heard it, it was like we were dreaming. This is for us. Here's to the ones who believed what he said, sat around all over again waiting for a phone call that might come in a few hours, or a few days. Here's for the tears cried and dried all over again. We wanted so desperately to believe that he was really busy, he couldn't possibly call us at that moment, or even that he fell asleep early. We trained ourselves to believe the lies because we wanted to believe we had found the one for us.
We have learned to SETTLE for someone who didn't treat us the way we should be treated. Here's for the ones who did their hair and make up and put on their prettiest earrings, only to hear him say that he couldn't see us today. The ones who never believed it when people told us there might be someone else. We just couldn't believe that he could do this to us again. This is for those great girls, who loved him more than words can say, and took him back no matter what happened last time because they couldn't bear to look back on their lives one day and wonder "what if".
This is for the girls that stayed up all night long listening to him whine about an ex girlfriend who cheated on him, and cried during the entire conversation. The ones who hoped he would realize that he deserved better, that he deserved us. When he said that he loved you, but he was in love with her, he didn't mean it. This is for the ones that held on to something that was never there to begin with. This is for us girls, who somehow managed to get him to forget about her, and get him to tell us that he was in love with us again, only to have him tell us three weeks later that "things were going too fast, he needs time."
Here's to the girls who couldn't cry to their friends because of how stupid they felt. The ones who held it all in when things came crumbling to pieces again. This is for the ones who couldn't bear to even tell their mom what was going on, for fear of an "I told you so." The ones that could just TELL that they had made a mistake ever allowing him into their hearts, and their dreams again. We knew that we deserved better the entire time that we deserved a guy who would call when he said he was going to, one that would come see us whenever he got the chance, one that would really care about us.
We just wanted the one that we loved like that. Here's for the ones that FINALLY realized that he NEVER gave a crap about them. Here's for the time that he broke your heart again.This is for those days spent trying to hold back the tears, and the tears that turned into anger, then disappointment. Here are for us girls who finally realized that we deserve better. This is for those confusing days, when you miss him, and want nothing more than to hear his voice, or feel his arms around your waist. Stay strong, and remember that relationships are like broken glass, sometimes it's better to leave it alone rather than try to put the pieces back together and get hurt. Remember the times you cried, and how long it took you to even be able to look at another guy like that. When "your song" comes on the radio, turn the station. When the day comes that he realizes what a mistake he made and tries calling, turn your phone off. When he tries coming to your house, don't answer the door.
Think of the broken promises, and the lies, the manipulation and the tears, the wasted moments and staying up all night wondering where the crap he was. Think of how your heart used to jump when your phone would vibrate in the middle of the night, and how it fell to your stomach when you saw it wasn't him, and realized that once again, he hadn't called when he said he was going to. One day, you'll find a guy who's worth all the tears, but he won't make you cry. You may think that you'll never care about someone like you did that guy that you always ran back to, but you will. It's going to hurt like crap, and it's going to need time to heal, but the point is, it will heal.
if i was the one
What should I do, I been gaining feelings for this guy that I shouldn't be. I always get myself into these worse scenarios, and I don't know why. I know it's wrong talking to him every night; knowing that he isn't mine, but some other girl's. But i can't help it; it's so hard. He has been my comfort for the past few weeks that i been talking to him, and he has this ability to put a smile on my face, no matter what struggles that I have going through that day.
Also lately, I have been in denial that I'm not jealous of his girlfriend. But, I have to stop lying to myself and accept the truth. I really can't help it anymore. He is just such a cute, funny, and a intelligent individual. But, I guess whatever happens happens.
Also lately, I have been in denial that I'm not jealous of his girlfriend. But, I have to stop lying to myself and accept the truth. I really can't help it anymore. He is just such a cute, funny, and a intelligent individual. But, I guess whatever happens happens.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Career Choices
Wow! I haven't wrote anything on this for the longest time.
Lately, I really been confuzzled with my life. Been bugged by my father about what I want to pursue in the future, and I'm still really trying to figure that out. I want to do nursing, but at the same time I want to own my own day spa. What should I do, I'm getting old; so that means that I have to figure this out soon or I'm going to become like my older lazy brother, and I don't want that to happen. But, I really hope I will figure myself out soon.
Lately, I really been confuzzled with my life. Been bugged by my father about what I want to pursue in the future, and I'm still really trying to figure that out. I want to do nursing, but at the same time I want to own my own day spa. What should I do, I'm getting old; so that means that I have to figure this out soon or I'm going to become like my older lazy brother, and I don't want that to happen. But, I really hope I will figure myself out soon.
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